Tommy’s Story

Gestation: 28 + 6
On Unit: 5th March 2020 – 1st April 2020

Adam kindly shares his son, Tommy’s story with us!

‘The first time I set foot in Ward 35 I was a lone parent. My wife could not travel after having an emergency C section so I travelled 54 miles to the RVI leaving my wife in hospital with family in our home town. My wife was adamant I had to go to check how our first born baby was getting on so far away from us.’

‘It was a lot to take in… The nurses were brilliant with me; a deer in the head lights! They talked me through everything without overwhelming me with too much. Seeing my son lying there with all the machines, wires and tubes helping him push through was a harsh beginning as a first time father and threw me back a bit. As a father I felt the need to protect my son but I was totally helpless! We had to put our trust in the nurses and the volunteers, who throughout our time on ward 35, would reassure me and my wife. I honestly think without the staff there I would have struggled massively with trying to process what was happening and I’m forever grateful.’

‘A few days later my wife was transferred to Ward 35 they supported her so well when she saw our baby for the first time. Our baby (Tommy) spent a month on Ward 35 before being transferred to a hospital closer to home. Throughout those long weeks so far away from home COVID-19 also hit us. Not only were we processing, as new parents, how to care for our tiny baby we were also trying to process COVID-19. The staff on Ward 35 continued to care for our child and offer ‘normal’ interaction and conversations through this stressful time. The ward even fed us when we were no longer allowed to cook in the shared kitchen in the hospital house for parents. They taught us how to change our baby’s nappy without affecting the wires and tubes that were going into his belly, clean him and feed him through a tube. The staff were all so friendly and kind, nothing was a ‘silly question’ and the support we received was amazing. This made those horrible moments (when our baby would drop oxygen as well as leaving him in a hospital to go to sleep) a little more bearable as we felt our baby was receiving the best care.’

How did Tiny Lives impact your time on the unit?

‘As I touched on in the above section Tiny Lives helped me and my wife so much and we are forever grateful. Tiny Lives gave us welcome packs and mainly the knowledge on how to deal with having a premature baby. As new parents we felt like we knew what we were doing from the support we received and we gained so much confidence from talking to the volunteers and reading the booklets that were given to us. Our baby was in a hospital 54 miles away from our hometown. My wife was due to be discharged from the ward and the panic hit us, what were we going to do so far away from home. Would we travel every day? We even contemplated sleeping in my van in the hospital car park.’

‘Tiny Lives gave me a parking pass for the van which was a brilliant gesture, they didn’t want us to worry about anything! They also put us in contact with a charity home (Crawford house) that puts parents up near the hospital while their child is being treated in hospital. Again this was a huge weight off our shoulders that we could stay close to our baby whilst he was being cared for. The volunteers for Tiny Lives would come round to ‘check in’ with parents every day. They held meetings to help us gain knowledge about caring for a premature baby as well as making sure that us as parents were mentally ok. As a father I felt the need to be ‘strong’ for my wife and my son. Tiny Lives provided support for fathers on the unit where they could speak to a volunteer who had actually been through what I was experiencing as well. The people who support families on the Ward through Tiny Lives are volunteers and without their support our experience would have been different. We cannot thank them enough for what they did for us whilst our baby was being cared for.’

Click here to donate to Adam’s fundraiser!